The battle is still on!

A couple of days ago a 14 year old boy took his own life. I did not know him but he was best friends with several of my daughter’s friends. It, understandably, has a whole family, friend set, and entire community shaken to its core. Some are even asking the hard questions: How can a 14 year old be that desperate? Can a Christian commit suicide? How can a Christian give up hope? Don’t we have THE Hope? How can we just go on and have hope, joy and victory when such things happen?

Legitimate questions. Can’t say that any of us can give full, complete, and, well, satisfying answers to every question asked in these instances. But I think we, as coddled Americans living in the twenty-first century, are shaken way too easily when bad things happen….when good people go bad…when Christians fall or when they just go AWOL or when they pull a trigger in a desperate moment.

My daughter and I were talking about this the day after the news. We discussed that, while Christians should never lose hope…ever, that in this fallen world with an expert deceiver prowling around and some being weaker Christians there IS the possibility that some might be pulled away from the truth. Don’t misunderstand me. I don’t mean pulled away from THE TRUTH. I mean temporarily believe a lie and commit a major sin that messes up their life. We’ve seen it in different forms. A pastor (ummm or King David?), in a weak moment, tells himself no one will know if he has that one night stand and forever weakens or ruins his witness. That upstanding Christian businessman now turning politician listened to the whispers of the deceiver who says that cheating on his taxes isn’t really a sin…who will know?....and trashes his Christian witness as it becomes painfully public. In fact, who of us has not in a weaker moment believed one of Satan’s lies? The only difference being, when you pull that trigger, you are not there to experience the consequences…no…you leave your “consequences” for all your family, friends, church, and community. And the ripples go a lot further than you could ever imagine.

Satan can make the incredibly selfish act of a Christian pulling that trigger (to send himself/herself to heaven early? To not be a burden anymore? To escape the pain? You choose…Satan has a hundred more.) seem very tempting for a moment. Most Christians recover their senses, pick their armor back up, and fight with renewed vigor. But some succumb….such is war.

And that I think is the biggest problem with today’s American Christians floundering around after any horrible incident or scandal…we have forgotten that this IS war. We sing songs about victory and have laid down our swords. We rarely even sing hymns about fighting the battles anymore! (Onward Christian Soldier anyone?) We sit back in our comfy churches and go home to our comfy houses and ask God for more wealth and blessings on us. We don’t ask to be sent to the front, or strength for the coming battle, or courage to fight. While Christ has won the FINAL Battle (We’ve read The Book…we know how it ends…He wins the entire war!), we are still in battles now. We’ve been left on this earth for a reason and it’s not to just go to church on Sunday morning and sing songs, listen to the sermon, and watch the show. WE are His army here and now! The struggle of good versus evil is still present with us. It is a spiritual war and the battles are brutal. There will be casualties. When one of our own falls we should not sit down in defeat, we should yell “A comrade went down! Fight harder! Everyone's armor on?! Call reinforcements!” Thank God that the reinforcements are His angels and Christ Himself! We could never do it!

“Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints….

Go forward, Christian soldier,
Beneath His banner true:
The Lord Himself, thy Leader,
Shall all thy foes subdue.
His love foretells thy trials;
He knows thine hourly need;
He can with bread of Heaven
Thy fainting spirit feed.
Go forward, Christian soldier,
Fear not the secret foe;
Far more o’er thee are watching
Than human eyes can know:
Trust only Christ, thy Captain;
Cease not to watch and pray;
Heed not the treacherous voices
That lure thy soul astray.
Go forward, Christian soldier,
Nor dream of peaceful rest,
Till Satan’s host is vanquished
And Heav’n is all possessed;
Till Christ Himself shall call thee
To lay thine armor by,
And wear in endless glory
The crown of victory.
Go forward, Christian soldier,
Fear not the gath’ring night:
The Lord has been thy Shelter;
The Lord will be thy Light.
When morn His face revealeth,
Thy dangers are all past:
O pray that faith and virtue
May keep thee to the last!

Words: Lawrence Tuttiett, 1861

Michelle and Jake's engagement slideshow...wedding slideshow to follow

Slideshow design made with Smilebox

Finding yourself

Back in the 60’s and 70’s when I was growing up, I would hear of many young people leaving home, sometimes leaving college, friends, family, a steady job or a family business and sometimes even a marriage to go “find themselves”. This was a new phenomenon back then so it made the local gossip chains…and sometimes even the news. Actually I really don’t think it was a NEW phenomenon. Before that decade it was just looked upon as a bad thing – an irresponsible thing; you had certain responsibilities to your family, marriage partner, church, community and to prepare for your future that superseded your present bliss. In the hippie era however, the era of “new” freedoms, “finding yourself” was suddenly viewed as the top priority. You needed to “be true to yourself” first…above all. This meant if anything – family, friends, college, marriage – got in your way of present happiness then push them aside and go out and find that happiness.

Funny thing….most people think that “finding themselves” means going somewhere else…like maybe their real self is hiding elsewhere. Some travel the country or even the world searching for meaning. Others make drastic career changes. Some leave spouses and search for that ever elusive “soul mate”. Some go back to college and try to find ultimate meaning in education. While there is nothing intrinsically wrong with traveling, more education, changing careers…these can be great tools to a fulfilling life….there is a major flaw in thinking that you will “find yourself” at the end of any of these roads. It is also a mistake to think that the ultimate measure of your life is something as fleeting as happiness.

Now I know what I just said is counter-culture. Today’s mantra: Graduate from high school, go to college, travel the world or at least the country a little, get a great paying job, date lots of people so you can be sure you choose the right one (don’t worry about all the breakups and heartache…that’s just part of it, honey!) Then marry right before you turn 30 and have 2 kids. Oh…and be sure to start back going to church after the kids are born…you know…so you can give them some good morals and be a good parent. Don’t have too many kids because you need to give each child their own rooms and trips to Disney World and give them a car when they are 16 and have enough money to send them to college…otherwise you are a bad parent. Because the Bible says so…well, I’m pretty sure it says so somewhere…I mean…cause if you stray from this recipe all the Christians will let you know that it is not wise….because wisdom comes from keeping your children happy then sending them to a government-run high school followed by a government-run university and securing an education there. OR even better: Wisdom comes from getting a great education in a Christian college even if you have to run up educational loans of $40,000 or more. Oh don’t worry about being in bondage, because we know everyone that does that goes out and gets a high paying job in their field and pays that debt off quickly…right? And that's the most important thing to find happiness...get a top education to get a high-paying job!And I haven’t found that Bible verse about not having too many children yet but I’m sure it’s got to be in there…I mean…all those Christians just can’t be wrong! I’m sure that Bible verse about “Blessed is the man with his quiver full” was written only for those times when the farmers needed lots of child labor in his fields. And having the perfect career with the highest pay possible…no matter what…well…I’m sure that is a Godly ambition. Didn’t Paul say something about that? No? Well, somebody did. And for goodness sake – if you have a brain DON’T just choose to do manual labor…that’s for those who aren’t smart enough to go to college. You will never find yourself…or happiness for that matter in working with *gasp* your hands! Let the uneducated masses handle that. And I know that preacher said that little “till death do you part” thing…but really…he didn’t know how unhappy you would be in this marriage. He’s emotionally abusing you! You were too young and you really didn’t know what you were doing. You can’t be held accountable for the mistake of not marrying your soul mate. You’ll just correct that mistake and go find happiness. You deserve better, Honey!

Hmmmmm….the only thing wrong about the above “Christian American” mantra is that there is nothing “Christian” about it. AND some of the unhappiest people I know have followed the above “recipe for success”. When did we start thinking that Godliness was American success? When did we start equating worldly things…. like running up educational loans, government-run (not Bible-based) schools and colleges, having dozens of girlfriends/boyfriends before marriage, greatly limiting how many children we have then giving them everything they want, and leaving an unhappy marriage to find a “soul mate” … with wisdom? And when did we start thinking that God just wants to make us and our children happy? That WE are the center of His Universe?

The above Christian American recipe leaves out something very important…finding God’s individual will for your life. Some things are spelled out in the Bible…such as marriage for life (except for cases of abandonment and adultery) but many things are NOT spelled out in the Bible, I believe, on purpose. God DID say “Children are a blessing of God; Blessed is the man with his quiver full.” He didn’t say: “Everyone have 20 children”, but He definitely didn’t say: “Limited thou thy children so that thou may give them better gifts!” God gave us each a different temperment and various gifts. Paul was a tent maker for goodness sake…not a college professor with a PhD! Peter was an uneducated, hotheaded fisherman. But Luke WAS a doctor. These people’s happiness didn’t come from their careers…their happiness came from God being able to use them either through their careers and paths or sometimes in spite of them! They knew that Jesus didn’t come to secure their happiness anyway. They knew that following Jesus would lead them to some very unhappy situations, in fact, ultimately, to a horrific martyr’s death. But they DID find themselves! They found themselves when they gave themselves over to Christ. Total abandonment to Christ, turning over everything you are, is the only way to find yourself. That is true for the preacher, worship leader, a cake decorator, or a fry cook. If, when you turn yourself over to Christ, you feel Him calling you to a certain service…then you need to do everything you can to serve Him well….including education in the finest universities or travel over the world. God may send you as a missionary to Africa! God's will for your life may mean getting a law degree and becoming an ambassador for Christ in the halls of the US Senate! But don’t think He calls everyone to do that! God may help you “find yourself” while staying in your fry cook position while you minister to those around you in a way no one else could have. God may WANT you to stay in a small rural town while you lead many little ones to Christ in Vacation Bible School each year…little ones who grow up and become missionaries all over the world. God may call you to stay at home and have 10 children and lovingly and patiently raise them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord…children who will boldly make Godly decisions in the scary, increasingly Godless society around us. Finding yourself may mean learning to be “happy” in your present situation while looking around and noticing the ministry God has already placed around you! Paul said “I have learned in whatever situation I am in to be content”. Not just happiness, but true joy, true fulfillment and satisfaction, comes from total abandonment to God’s will in your life, when you find those places where God truly can use your particular personality, talents or gifts. God’s not looking for someone who is exceptional; He is just looking for someone who is willing to be used by Him….HE will use you in an exceptional way! Don’t be a snob and think God can only use “certain” people with a “certain” educational level and “certain” business-like attire and appearances. God delights in choosing those who you never expected and channeling HIS power through them…then HE gets the glory. And when you let Him work through your life like that, no matter where you've been or "who" you are, you find more than just fleeting happiness…you find yourself.

Whatever

"Whatever" is an interesting word. It can mean wildly different things according to the context, voice inflection, and, mainly, the heart of the one saying it. I've witnessed teens rebelliously muttering the word under their breath. The scowl on their face shows their meaning: "Yeah. Right. I don't think so."

Adults, beaten down by tough circumstances, have heavily sighed out the word. Their hardened tone relays their meaning: "I can't do anything about this anyway. Bring it on. I'll attempt to survive it."

Yet the word "Whatever" is the only way to truly serve God! "Whatever" breathed out in a humble prayer is a powerful word. I dare say it is THE most powerful word in the English language. "Whatever You tell me to do, God, I will do for You." If it means going someplace I DON'T want to go - "Whatever." If it means staying when I really WANT to go - "Whatever, Lord." If it means painfully enduring hard circumstances to learn patience or display true peace and calm, then - "Whatever." If it means giving up my dreams and be willing to let God give me NEW dreams - "Whatever You want of me, God."

God doesn't need important people, the rich, or the highly talented. He is not scouring the earth desperately seeking the possessors of special gifts, the most intelligent, or those successful in their chosen professions. He just wants one who will totally surrender. That's it. He'll do the rest. The Bible is chockful of exciting histories of the completely average who turned their world upside down: a young shepherd, simple fishermen, tent makers, a destitute, widowed daughter-in-law, a favored son hated by his brothers, a carpenter, a teenage virgin girl. All had different plans for their lives; all surrendered their dreams for His dreams. All made a difference beyond their wildest dreams. That's because God is only looking for surrender...for those who are willing to say "Whatever".

Cooking for the month

Wow! It is so difficult to work a very physical job 24-30 hours a week, check your children's homeschool work, and have the time, energy, or even brain cells left to blog! Most work days I'm so exhausted upon returning home that I only have the energy to take a bath, throw in a load of laundry, and crawl into bed. Recently, when one of the girls asked for school help, I whined as I trudged past my husband - " But I don't wanna do math!"

"You have to." he replied dryly. "You're the teacher."


Days off are usually spent catching up on school work, house work, yard work, and taking the kid's on field trips. One thing in particular I've been struggling to keep up with is the daily meal question. What will we have tonight? If we are what we eat, then my family is cheap, fast, and easy! OK...enough is enough. I'm going to fix that. In the past I have tried the "once-a-month" cooking books with some success. Unfortunately, my very picky eaters (ummm...every family member but me), didn't like most of the recipes. But I HAVE learned enough tips from my "once-a-month" cooking experiences, running a catering business, and from now working in a bakery (most of our products come in frozen!) to know how to utilize my freezer as another "servant" in my home. So I don't have the servant girls that the Proverbs 31 woman had (although my girls will swear to you that they ARE those servant girls!), but I DO have machine "servants" that she did not have that I can utilize to make myself more efficient. I have a washing machine, dryer, dishwasher, a crock pot, a bread machine, a grain grinder, electric oven, toaster oven, a refrigerator that makes ice, electric weed whacker, a computer (for self-grading schoolwork!), a printer, and a large freezer in the basement!


So...I took the bull by the horns this week when I lucked out and had 3 days off in a row at work. The first day I spent half the day working on unpacking random boxes from the basement (an ongoing project I want to finish before we've been here a year. Help! That is coming up fast!) I then devoted the other half of the day to cooking my little heart out! As I cooked each item I only allowed it to cool slightly before packaging it in a tupperware container or ziplock bag and placing in the downstairs large freezer. I started with an easy one: sloppy joe meat for 2 meals. I then prepared enough pizza sauce for 8 pizzas and froze them in some old tupperware hamburger press containers. I completed the "tomato sauce" section of my cooking by simmering some cheap canned spagetti sauce with some of my own spices and some ground chicken (I literally can't stomach beef). I followed that with simmering a homemade low-fat chicken noodle soup made with lean chicken breasts. I accidently boiled too much chicken breasts for the chicken noodle soup so I made a wonderful chicken salad with Blue Plate mayo (which my sweet mother brought me from Georgia!), fresh celery, and finely chopped pecans. this will not freeze well so I stuck it in the refrigerator to eat in the next few days. I browned several pounds of stew beef and threw them in the crock pot with carrots and diced potatoes. I used a little white wine to recover the good fried flavor out of the frying pan and added it to the crock pot mixture. Yummm....a hearty beef stew for my family.


The next day I had to go to the chiropractor and stop by the grocery store for a few more ingredients. I only cooked for half the day again and I started with my family's favorite breakfast : Whole Wheat Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Muffins. I then made a big pot full of a quasi vegetable chili (I have to add a little ground chicken...my husband wants SOME meat!). I tried a new recipe: a lower calorie version of sweet and sour chicken and froze it with some brown rice. I left some out for Rodney to eat for his supper since he was getting home after we left for church that night. I have been trying to avoid products with high fructose corn syrup,which can be very difficult if you pour syrup on your waffles or chocolate syrup on your ice cream. I found a recipe and made both of these! Neither was difficult! Both just need to be refrigerated instead of freezing, however they will last a while in the fridge. I finished up the day by making some fresh ground whole wheat chocolate chip cookie dough. I froze 2 rolls of them to bake later but baked a large cookie sheet of them to cut out to make my own chocolate chip cookie ice cream sandwiches. I have some ice cream sandwich containers from tupperware that I rarely use. I put Breyer's vanilla ice cream inbetween 2 homemade cookies quickly hid them in the freezer!


Day 3: A bread day! I made the best bran muffins ever. But since I only use recipes as a general "guideline" I hope I can replicate these later on! It was a banana bran muffin recipe with cinnamon added...yuuummmm. I baked homemade whole wheat hamburger buns for the sloppy joes, two braided loaves of whole grain bread to eat with the soups or stews, and four whole grain pizza crusts for the pizza sauce I already froze. I baked dozens of corn muffins....some with cheese added...some without. I finished with two containers of corn chowder...an experiment, since things thickened by corn starch sometimes won't freeze well. We will see.


I ran out of time and was scheduled to work for the next four days. No matter. I have a freezer full of good nutritious food! It has been so nice to come home at 5pm and have a nice dinner on the table by 6pm without much fuss. My next day off is Tuesday and I will resume with the basement cleaning and the cooking marathon. Some of the recipes upcoming: Scones with blackberry butter, Orange chicken with rice, Golden Corral's Bourbon Street Chicken with rice, whole wheat waffles with mini chocolate chips, blueberry sauce for waffles, blackberry cobbler, and more desserts (a request from my husband)! I'll let you know how things turn out.


Some "once-a-month" cooking tips:


Some things that sometimes don't freeze well are mayonaise or sour cream based recipes, rice by itself (you can sometimes get away with brown rice in casseroles and one-dish meals), potato based recipes (same thing...you can sometimes get away with them in some casseroles and one-dish meals....like my stew meat with carrots and potatoes), and cooked eggs.

Lessons learned....

Since I have not sent a list of "things I have learned" in several months, I now would like to post a "Top 10 things I have learned from working at the area's busiest chain retail store bakery":

#10 - I do not need to watch TV soap operas. The real thing is so much more dramatic.

#9 - Every bakery worker must have carpel tunnel, shoulder, or foot surgery within a few years.

#8 - ALOT of parents are WAY too hung up on getting the shade of purple just right on little Lola's first birthday cake. (Come on, people! Little Lola is not going to remember this birthday...or the next 3 most likely.)

#7 - Most people, even if in a horrible mood, if treated with courtesy, friendliness, and a understanding ear, will respond with gratitude. (Most people....)

#6 - Some people, however, do not see employees as people at all, but see them as their paid slaves who they can treat with absolute contempt.

#5 - These same people usually will not even meet your eyes or respond to you when you ask "May I help you?"

#4 - A few tortured souls will dissolve into tears if the cake for Sally's graduation is not perfect. (Again, people, get a grip. In the large scheme of things....world hunger, wars, people dying and going to hell....the shade of maroon not being just right for Sally's graduation party is REALLY not life-changing. We'll do our best.)

#3 - I now fully understand why some people drink and play the lottery. (OK, Baptist friends...not saying I condone it....just saying I understand why.)

#2 - The hardest worker...the one that cares the most for doing it right...the one willing to get down on her hands and knees and scrub the floor to get it really clean...is the 70 year old grandmother!

#1 - When a retail store chain hires you as a cake decorator, what they mean is: we want you to go to the dock and load rolling flats of heavy boxes of bread dough and put them in shelves in the freezer...dozens of heavy boxes...every day AND stock the shelves with yummy goodies all day without getting fat AND give free cookies to kids and adults (and super fat employees) AND take out the trash AND take the boxes to the cardboard baler, load it, stand on a stool and pull down the gate and crush the boxes AND wash baking pans...lots of them AND price everything AND learn a CAO gun and scan out all old products AND go retrieve and organize product in a negative 20 degrees room size freezer where, even with a coat and gloves on, you freeze AND bake cookies and sometimes pies AND refill and decorate the cold case every 3 days AND ice cupcakes AND slice people's bread AND take orders AND spray down a cement floor with a hose and squeege it dry AND decorate cakes. Lesson learned.

God Winks

A few months ago, I read a book called "When God Winks at You", subtitled "How God Speaks Directly to You Through the Power of Coincidence" by Squire Rushnell. It is a much "lighter" book than I am used to - no deep theological debates...mostly stories of large or small things that "just happened" to people at exactly the moment they needed a sign or confirmation or encouragement. It was intriquing to me because so many times I have experienced this. And so has my eldest daughter.

My daughter, Vickie, came home from a wonderful "gap" program called Impact 360 in May 2007. Impact 360 (http://www.impact360.net/ ), while giving her 18 college credit hours, teaching her how to live in Christian community, giving her a community internship at the local Pregnancy Resource Center, and arming her with a solid Christian worldview, ALSO made her even more adamant about not incurring any debt. She is considering missions as her life's work. She also didn't think it was wise, as a woman, to saddle a future husband with a wife's educational loans. So....she decided she couldn't afford to go straight into college like all her other friends. Her frustration increased as she emailed and talked on the phone with her Impact friends that were enjoying college life and then crawled into the bottom of her little sister's bunk bed to retire early so she could get up before light to make greasy donuts and decorate cakes at the nearby Ingles. Near the end of her friends' first fun-packed semester she told me in tears that she still did not have enough money to go to college and would have to delay another semester. I felt for her so that I began to ask her to consider maybe a small loan so she could start in January 2008. "Maybe", I said, "You are being unrealistic to think you will have NO debt from college."

But she was determined to wait on the Lord. "No Mom. I am NOT going into debt for college. If God wants me to go to college now, He will provide the means."

And that He did. The DAY before classes started at Truett-McConnell College in Cleveland, GA, Vickie got a call from their offices saying she should show up for classes. The cost? The small amount she had in her account. She didn't know how she would continue after that but God had shown her a verse in her Bible study and devotion that very morning that (Joy's paraphrase) when God tells you to go...you don't even say goodbye to family...you just GO!" She went to Ingles, quit her job, threw her possesions in the car, and took off the next morning before dawn. When she got there the office told her that her work/study could be crisis pregnancy center work, something she was already trained to do, and that her post box number was 47, her favorite number; the school didn't know either of these things. It WAS as if God winked at her as He provided. Since then He has provided a FULL scholarship for her at Truett-McConnell.

This summer God winked at us again through Vickie. Vickie had signed on for a second summer as a staff member for the Worldchangers organization ( http://www.world-changers.net/ ). She ended up as part of the TX staff, which meant she would be even further away from us in the Cincinnati area. We were all very upset about this because, after a quick visit when Truett let out for the summer, we would not get to see her again until Christmas! Then I get an excited phone call from Vickie....her TX team was going to have to drive to a different area during an off week to take care of an inner city project. That project was in Cincinnati! Out of all the other teams, only the TX team had that week free and they were going to have to drive from Texas, manage the Cincinnati project, then drive back to Texas for the rest of the summer. Just a coincidence? I think not! Not only that but a second member of the TX team just had a brother and sister-in-law move to a tiny, little town near Cincinnati two months earlier...that tiny, little town was Walton, KY....where we live! AND that brother and wife was about to join our church! Crazy! Both families enjoyed some time together.

God doesn't always work so blatantly, but I challenge you to look for it. Did that friend "just happen" to call when you were feeling so lonely? IS it a coincidence that another homeschool family with a daughter exactly your daughter's age moved into town two months before you and are visiting your church? Were you really "just lucky" to have asked for a cake decorating job in that store JUST after their main cake decorator retires? I submit that we "hear" from God much more than we think. But funny thing is - you have to be looking AT Him to see Him wink.